Monday, May 30, 2005

Remotion

Moving is change. Change is inevitable. So why am I still in shock?

Well, maybe I am not in shock. Maybe I'm in denial. I can't believe that I will be moving out of the home that I have grown accustomed to for almost 23 years of my life.

It all started out last October, our house burnt. To give a slight background, we live in a four-door apartment with 1 big house and 3 small ones. We were living on the big one with my grandfather. The adjacent unit was occupied by my uncle who is now residing elsewhere. The last two doors are my aunt's. One is for their office and the other is their residence. So that's the set-up. The big house burnt. It started on the 3rd floor. Fortunately, it also ended there. In short, not everything was turned into ash. We moved to the next door since my uncle and his family is basically not living there anymore. They just needed a place to stay if they will have a need to make an overnight stay in Manila. We got settled. We were living a pseudo-normal life again.

Then my grandfather died on February. Funerals were done. Tears were shed. The last will and testament was accomplished. Lives needed to be redesigned.

This event prompted us to re-plan our lives. We ventured in having the burnt unit rebuilt. We also considered buying a new property and selling the old one. The inheritance was distributed to my mom and her siblings. The property was divided accordingly and the corner/burnt unit was assigned to my mom. Since we are living at the second door already, we needed to move out. Although no one is forcing us to move, we didn't want that moment to happen. So we decided to move as soon as possible, may it be to a newly built house located just beside our current residence or to a newly bought property somewhere else.

We examined our options. If we will have the burnt unit rebuilt, we would need to supervise and focus much of our attention to the construction of the new house. We don't have that luxury since my mom and I are both working. This realization prompted us to look for a NEW home. A better house.The hunt for the relocation site, if you may, is really tedious. Who would have known that having a joy ride around town that had a serious purpose is not equally fun as doing it just for the heck of it. We went north, south, west, east, northeast, and so on and so forth. Including places that we really have never been to before, those were also not missed.

After a few weekends spent of the sole purpose of finding a better place to live in, a broker informed my Mom of a place in Cainta that was within our budget range. It was actually perfect cause it has the appropriate number of rooms and to top it off, I would have a place of my own.

The property has 3 structures in it. The main house has 4 rooms in it. It is spacious and has a lovely marble floor. It has a small bathroom that we will be converting into a guest's powder room. It also has a main bath room with a so so sooo soothing tub. It only has 1 floor but there is a four-step stairway to the bedrooms. (I don't know if that will be considered as two-storey.) The house does have a good vibe to it. It does feel like home already.

The second structure is at the back of the main house. It is built on top of the kitchen. It is the maid's quarters. It has it's own T&B and receiving area.


The third one is a two-storey apartment type structure with two rooms at the second floor and it also has it's own kitchen, dining, T&B, as well as a living room. That part of the property was graciously allocated for me by my Mom. I now have a place to call my own. Not only a room, but a real house.

After 3 visits, they shook hands. SOLD.

We're now on our way in renovating the small details that we want to personalize. The unofficial moving date will be on June 18, 2005. House blessing will be announced. I'll keep you all posted.

These changes did come to me as a shock. Now, I think I am in awe. In awe to have a new place. In awe because of my "secured" independence. In awe that I do have a place to call my own. In awe to be starting over.

I am grateful.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Twisted Sunshine

Ever After
Bonnie Bailey

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections
And now we're slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you
Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we're still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you I want to make it right
You are my twisted sunshine

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Night and Day's Game

Something’s amiss.

Night and day’s encounters are in a rut. The day’s heat punctures the darkness of the night. Conversations are muffled. Foreign sounds fill the world. Pleasure overcomes logic. Insanity dominates reason. The night’s warm breeze embraces the scorching heat of the day. Natural forces overflow with glee. The silent shrieks of the gusts of winds rapture the entire universe. Mortals chant orgasmic hymns. Then night and day becomes night and day again.

Each rendezvous results in this. They’re in a rut. Variety needs to be introduced.

It’s a good thing that change is inevitable. An opportunity to be out of this madness still exists. Risk will still come into play. Change would still need to surpass the battle of good and evil.

‘Till that moment comes, the night will be hopeful.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Unlearning Relationships

Why unlearning relationships?

To be honest with you all, this is my very first serious relationship. This is the only relationship I've had that I wanted to work. This is the only instance where I can say that happiness has enveloped me. Yearning, longing, waiting, hoping, thinking, giving effort are all events that are involved.

All the others were just damn petty. It didn't give me any new insights on life. That's the reason why I was getting all my "wisdom" with relationships through my friends and acquintances that I know. Their relationship woes, joys, fears, and hopes were all relayed to me through numerous forms of media. That's how I came to know what a relationship was like.

Now I wanted to get all of those blubber out of me. I want to experience it on my own. With him. I want everything to seem like I've never heard of that kind of situation ever before. I want to panic when something goes chaotic. I don't want to be ready for anything. I want it to come to me like a hard turn on a blind curve. I want it with a bang. I want to start fresh. I need to unlearn.

Unlearning relationships, for me, is not that difficult. It is true that even if you've already heard the story, it's still different if you encounter the said situation yourself. It's like when we were younger and Enchanted Kingdom was still news. Friends were saying that the Space Shuttle is amazing. The first hard drop is a killer. While we listen to the stories, we are envigorated as well as jealous. When the time comes that we get the chance to be the one on that seat that has the loose harness, you know that the first hard drop is a killer but you still are nervous and anxious. Once you here the "schpoophch", you're heart skips 10 beats. You can't shout and scream. The world is a blur. That's how I want to experience this, without any concrete knowledge of it but with the courage to embrace it, headstrong, full of spirit, and the willingness to fully succumb to the experience.

Let the unlearning begin.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Sundown To Puerto Galera

April 28 - May 1, 2005

Bags. Czar's House. Bus. Excitement. Music trip. Half-sleeping. Laughing. Batangas Pier. Cigarettes. Small talk. Brian. Picture taking. Couple. Guys. Boat. Dolphins. White Beach. Breakfast. Room. P8,500. Walk. Sleeping Arrangements. TV. Small Talk. Lunch. Sleep. Sand. Beach. Itinerary. Swim. Heat. Tan. Salty Water. Shower. Water refill. P10. Dinner. Chicken Kebab. Mindoro Slings. Sub Zero. Music. Hang-out. New Friends.

Woke-up. Coffee alone. Beach. Volleyball. Swim. Invisible Jellyfishes. Sand and Rocks. Heat. Sun. Cave. Cove. Cliff Divers. Foreigners. Lunch. Shower. TV. Small Talk. Laugh. Sleep. Sunset. Dinner. Pork Kebab. Chocolate. New Friends. Dance. Party. Seashore. Stargazing. Shooting Star. Summer Breeze. Half asleep. Dennis and Friends. People. Music.

Stroll. Quiapo. Briansss. Natividadsss. Army. Tons of People. Brunch. Toné. Morning Swim. Morning Stroll. Focus. Scramble. Career-Orientation. Blah. Cholo. Groups. Room. Solace. Music. Afternoon Swim. Mango Shakes. Shower. Rest. Dinner. Liempo. Party. Bi-males. Gays. Bi-males. Gays. More bi-males. Liquor Flowing. Mindoro Slings. Chocolate. SanMig Light. Extra Jossed SanMig Light. Grenadined SanMig Light. Dance. Party. Dance. Meet. Meat. Meet. Meat. Hotdogs. Dance. Bye Soberness. Em Dancing. People crowding. People yelling. Boobs. People Cheering. Extra Jossed SanMig Light. Dancing. Seashore. Goodbyes. Summer Breeze. Nirvana.

Morning Sun. Bag Packing. Shower. Lunch. Last Minute Shopping. Wait. Mango Shakes. Wait. Late Boat. Tiring journey. Revitalized Spirit. Rocky Ride. Batangas Pier. Bus. Really Tired Body. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Lost Phone. Friendster Post. Sleep.